When my manager Jake asked me if I wanted to go on tour with Epik High I instantly said yes. At the time I wasn’t quite sure why I had a such a guttural and instant positive reaction. Now with the tour at a close, back in LA where I call home, I have some time to reflect on it. The decision wasn’t because of my intense admiration for Tablo and the boys. It wasn’t because of my hope to perform in front of thousands and thousands of people. It wasn’t even to practice my craft in the premiere venues across North America. Suffice it to say, my emotions weren’t checking my usual conscious boxes. I’ve realized now that I can be a magnet for transience…
Hell bent on escape, I left Los Angeles for New York City, bubble to bubble, the first week in April. My dad used to say to me “You know what you fly over when you fly from NY to LA?……THE FANS!” New York was a whirl-wind but felt almost like we were still awaiting take off to the unknown. We left New York and day by day neared south along the east coast. Me, Dylan Valentine, and a loaded Japanese-made rental skating across the corners of America. When we looked out the window, America looked so beautiful, but when we turned on the news it all seemed so ugly. City to city, moment to moment, coffee to coffee, everything became a beautiful blur. Just blurry enough to give my brain some sort of space to pause and remember who I really am and will always be. In some sense this tour reminds me of a safe escape. Like a modern bourgeoisie run-away. We’ve traded in the midnight train hopping for Bluetooth equipped, fully insured, rental cars. This tour reminded me of the vitality of being on the move. Of living to live. Of staying up til the sun comes, of getting tattoos, of saying sorry and meaning it. Back in LA the escape wears off and the smog sets in. I am in constant flux, but it is my comfort zone; Forever grateful for another day in this toxic paradise yet still eternally longing to run through the cracks of the world.
with room to grow and love to give,
yoshi f
Check out “empty” from Yoshi Flower’s PEER PRESSURE, out now.
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